3 posts tagged “friends”
So I'm feeling much better after last night's rant - which was a bit scattered at best, I'll admit - and ready to report, now being of sound mind and of sound body.
I had an
experience online recently with a guy I vaguely remember from a
vocational class in high school. He's currently married... and in the
midst of a divorce. He finds
me online, and and we chat for two minutes while I try to remember who
he is and arrange to see him in town and catch up on life after high
school. He admits to being interested in me after all this time.
Then he asks me
to strip down in front of my webcam for him to watch and enjoy, to put
it mildly.
While I can honestly say I've never messed with the video
capability of my webcam like that, I'm certainly not going to do it
with someone I hardly know or trust. Then, he sends pics of what he has
to offer (let's just say, I wasn't impressed) and says that I can touch
it (which I had no desire to do). Now, mind you, this guy is in the
middle of a divorce, and has absolutely no idea of what's happened with
me. Nor does he particularly seem to care. I can understand about a
guy's sex drive and how it can mess with rational thinking... but
honestly, how is it possible to be so...rude to the point that no one
else's feelings matter as long as your needs are met? After telling him
about my (lack of) carnal knowledge, he backed off for the moment and
went away for the night. The following night, he finds me
again...at about 2am, and wants to hook up. Again he offers to let me
touch his underwhelming package. This time I told him that I wasn't
that girl and that I'm not going that route unless it's someone I'm
actually involved with and trust. This actually silenced him. After
that, I deleted him from my friends list.
The
moral of the story: never demand something you don't truly deserve from
someone you don't know. Even if you've wanted them since junior year.
This
is an all-too-familiar scenario that drives me completely crazy,
especially as someone who's been on this insane rollercoaster where the
promise of a meaningful connection is but an arm's reach away, only to
see it slip away due to some unforseen circumstance.
Guys,
if you're going to pursue a girl, do it right. Get to know her, and let
her into your world (little by little, if need be). Be genuinely
interested, patient, honest, and open-minded. And most importantly
- when in pursuit, be completely untethered! I can not stress this enough. Guys, if you're with someone or getting over someone, don't even consider
going after someone else until you know that you have severed whatever
ties bind you to them. [And yes, this goes for us girls, too.] Start with these basics, and go from there. Choose to ignore this at your peril - and see if your heart doesn't get broken.
Personally, I'm done playing around.
So guys, approach with caution... and consider this your first and only warning.
Today I felt like screaming until there was no voice left. That's because today was one of those 'People Suck' kind of days. The two posts I discovered earlier (Ode to the Nice Girls and Ode to the Nice Guys)
are a great example. The more I read them, the more I was incensed by
how silly and sheeplike we can be sometimes... and the more I wished I
could have written those rants (*laughing*). Well, now I get to write
one of my own... So
growing up, I went through a period where I didn't trust guys as far as
I could throw them, thanks to one too many bad experiences. My father
(God rest his soul) and my brother were the only real exceptions to the
rule. It was just as well since being a heavyset girl in junior high
was a major guy repellent in itself. I had crushes on guys - none of
which saw me as dateable - and I didn't see myself as being good enough
for the ones I knew as friends, so I never asked. Eventually I started
talking to guys after a considerable weight loss and small confidence
boost, but it was still awkward. I didn't have my first kiss until the
age of 22, and what followed was nearly 8 months of weird uncertainty
and heavy petting from a guy that never really cared for me anyway.
There was a nice guy even then, and I passed him up 'cause I didn't
think I deserved him (though it was what I really wanted). Being the
stupid girl I was, I gave myself over to what I think of now as cold
seduction. He was the first and last guy I ever involved myself with. When
anyone loses their cool over hearing 'I couldn't go out with you,
you're like a sister/brother to me,' or the ever-reliable 'you're such
a great friend, it would be too weird,' I immediately relate to them,
and have the strong desire to applaud them. And I do 'cause it's truly
a crime (not to mention completely asinine) for a real treasure to be
passed up for a bunch of rhinestones. I know this 'cause I've made that
mistake with a few great guys. But knowing they're happy now is
fantastic. Being a little older, a little wiser, I know exactly what I
want and I'm ready to go after that treasure that I was so blind to
before. It's
understandable to be upset with those that don't see what you're worth.
But it's crazy to believe that an entire gender is that blind and that
insensitive that the only way to grab their attention is to be just
like them in their vapid (and very little) 'all-about-me' world...
especially when you've made it this far being the amazing person you
are! What kind of sense does that make? The fact is that there's always
someone to appreciate you for you. There aren't many around, and not
always single, but there's always hope for redemption. There's always a
chance for someone's blinders to fall from their eyes and see the inner
beauty that you possess. Yeah,
people do tend to suck for reasons none of us seem to fully understand.
Good news is that we're not all alike in personality - we all need the
basics of human survival. That includes love and belonging.
Today, after responding to a recent post regarding my father's passing in March of 2008, I looked over all my entries from months past. And I deleted them all, save one (as you may notice).
